Christine is really blessed in so many ways. She has a loving husband and 3 wonderful daughters, an interesting cafe where you get to meet so many different people, and a talent in baking and cooking.

She told me this story today that left me reeling. It further reinforced my belief that God has really touched her life.

( God really works in mysterious ways )

It's my last day at Rocca tomorrow (today, technically). You know how people usually leave a place with mixed feelings? I'm just sad that I have to go. I'd always thought I'd be there 'til the day it closes, but guess not. :(

( Huge eye-opener I had today )

I'm really going to miss Rocca and all the people I've been introduced to while working there. :(

And then, I had to go and watch Atonement just now. -.-" Freaking good movie, I swear, although the sequence could have been improved on a little. I've never disliked any Keira Knightley movie I've watched. :) Almost cried, but I didn't, 'cos... I'm cold-blooded. LOL... Nah, it's because you can't really cry when you're watching a movie from a bloody iPod. HAHAHAHA...

There's this Fred Perry display I always pass on the way home from work. It never fails to make me secretly smile! All because it reminds me of our very handsome Mr. Jung. XD

Work today was horrible. T_T There was barely anyone, and I only sold a grand total of 1 chocolate bar. Depressing, I tell ya.

Tomorrow, I'm going to my godgrandparents' house to look for Gong Gong's civil service card, or the hospital's gonna kick up a big fuss. I really hope Mama will make up her mind soon and decide to stay with us. All of us are so worried about them living alone.

I know it's stupid of me to secretly look forward to it, but yeah. I'm still secretly looking forward to something that won't happen anyway. =P

It's 4am and somebody's alarm clock somewhere out there has been ringing incessantly for 15min. And there's this particular bird out there too that starts chirping at exactly 4am, right to the very second. Interesting. I wish I could find a way to see how it looks like.

Work passed by very fast today, for some reason. And I was very suay. I broke the glass on a photo-frame, and I think my sales hit an all-time low of $6.40 today. Whoopee. There was a very cute Jap guy today that didn't look Jap. He looked more like a Ruan Jing Tian. But he bought from Royce, which was right opposite me. -.-"

I've been staring at the Royce display for a week now, and have only just come to terms with the fact that a certain type of the chocolates they display in their window looks very much like dog shit. Why is there still a queue at their counter when my counter opposite them is ironically empty?

If I'm a customer, I always go for empty shops/counters. Less pressure from the people queueing behind me, 'cos I get to take all the time I want thinking about whether I'm gonna get something and asking stupid but necessary questions.

Too many things to do tomorrow:
1) Visit Gong Gong
2) Check on Mama and remind her to bring Gong Gong's IC and welfare card (?)
3) Bring my bag to Bugis and get that bloody zip fixed before my Bangkok trip
4) Go to work at 6pm

OTOT stuff:
1) Decide whether I wanna contact the Khunstar forum people
2) Flesh out JJRI and do something about that song
3) Finish watching at least Ep 10 of Ggotboda Namja
4) Finish downloading the Bolero single. XD

This isn't very good, but I've been thinking about it recently, and I think I kinda enjoy this unpredictable life I'm leading right now. Even thinking about what's going to happen to me after I come back from Bangkok just makes me scared and excited at the same time.

I just hate routine so much. Maybe that's why I loved being a PA, no matter how many hours I had to put in.

I am going to make sure somebody learns that bloody 'Gee' dance! XD Stupid song that has been stuck in my head for more than a week. *grumbles* Clarice shall be my next victim! After she masters 'Nobody' first. =P

Why do bad things always have to happen together?

I spent Valentine's Day with my godgrandfather in the hospital. I'm really so happy to be with him and see him smile. This man, who's 4x older than I am, is the best Valentine's date I've ever had. =)

I tried to hold back the tears while talking to him today, and I had to force myself to smile at him, even though my heart was breaking. I'm glad he at least remembers my name, even if it took him an hour to do so. How long more must he stay in the hospital?

The nurses can't even tell me in detail what's wrong with him, and all I know is that he has to be kept in the hospital for up to a week, and it all started with a fall. All I know right now is that he has a chest infection and is suffering from pneumonia. Though he only coughs now and then, he looks alright on the whole, really.

I don't know what I'd do if I lose him. I really don't know. I love him so much. And even though his memory is slowly failing him, and even though he thinks he's getting married to me, that I'm his second wife, I still want him to get better, although deep down inside, I don't see the possibility of that happening.

How could everything go downhill with just a fall? He didn't even know he was in the hospital. All along, he'd thought that he was back in his old home, and that the nurses were just helpers he'd hired.

He tried to get out of bed again today. He forgot that he'd "signed" a contract with the nurses, promising he wouldn't try to get out of bed on his own. He also forgot that I've been visiting him every day. He's forgetting so many things.

I love you, Gong Gong. I will continue to tell you that every time I see you, and I hope you'll continue to tell me the same too. Please don't forget me. It'll break my heart.

I started crying at the bus stop. I called Beak, 'cos I really needed someone to talk to, but I just ended up crying. I'm so worried.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should go to Bangkok. I really hope he gets discharged before I leave, or I won't be able to go in peace.

---

Jin's bday celebration with the Niaos today was rather short, unfortunately. I came late, 'cos I had to go home to get Jin's present. Forgot to take it out with me. =X

Played games at Mind's Cafe and surprised her with the small durian cake and big mango cake. LOL at the 'Squint' game which Clarice majorly failed at creating a cake.

We had dinner at Waraku at Central, and I stupidly chose the mui-fan wannabe, thinking it would be like the one I had at Robertson Quay with the Getty peeps. It sucked so bad I ended up eating only the liao, and left a huge bowl of rice. It was so tasteless!

Finally had my first taste of nattou, too. XD Um, not that great. It's really an acquired taste. I will never understand why the Dong Bang boys (save Yoochun, whom I can finally relate to for once) love it so much. I think I'd die if I only had nattou and rice for breakfast, like Clarice did that time in Japan. =P

Clarice is going to Japan in March for her exchange trip! I really wanna go over to visit her, and perhaps even attend an Arashi concert (if we both have the money). I gotta start saving up now!

And find a proper job. -.-"

Plus, there's the maybe-Qingdao trip in June/July to look forward to. Let's hope it gets finalized. I'm kinda excited for it! Though there'll be a huge problem with my job. -.-" But we'll get to that when it comes.

---

One quick update about work.

There was this guy who came to us and bought a heart-shaped box of chocolates from us on Vday. He wanted Wirda to send the chocs to this girl who worked upstairs, so he went to buy a bouquet of flowers to accompany the chocs.

Wirda said (not to his face, of course), "How insincere. If I'm the girl, I would've wanted him to give me the chocs in person."

I said, "If I were the girl, based on his looks and behaviour, I wouldn't want him to appear in front of me at all."

Yiling just laughed out loud. LOL...

---

I've officially given up hope on my brother.

How can you continue to love and care for someone if he just doesn't give a damn? It's as if the whole world revolves around him, and he just doesn't care for anything that doesn't go his way.

I was talking to Alvin and Daniel on Friday, and I really wish I could exchange brothers with Alvin. =( Unfortunately, not even Alvin wants my brother. For real. That's how bad he is.

Saturday's mahjong session was the last straw.

"Don't you tell me to shut up."

Don't you know that when your elders tell you to do something, they always have a reason? Will it kill you to listen to them for once? I asked you to shut up because I didn't want you to get involved in Jie Jie and Mama's argument, but you obviously don't give a damn.

I give up. I'll stop caring. Do what you want. I don't want to give a damn anymore. I'll be just like you.

Welcome to the beginning of a loveless family.

But I still am, ok!

This doesn't usually happen to me unless I'm doing something related to that occasion, then I'm constantly bombarded with reminders that bloody Valentine's Day is coming. 'Cos seriously, if I'd been caught up with work like I'd been last year, I would've totally forgot about Vday (like last year), and all would have been well.

But, NO.

I just have to sell chocolates for Vday!

And so, here's to more daydreaming at the counter for the day some cute guy will walk up to me, select the big heart-shaped (because he's not miserly enough to get the small one) chocolate assortment, pay for it, then push it across the counter and say, "It's for you."

Cute Guy (whoever you are), I give you 2 more days! That's more than enough time to appear, ok? Since I'm working tomorrow, and on bloody Valentine's Day, too. =(

Sales was at an all-time high of $550+, all thanks to me. Whee!

Khai says to flirt with customers, 'cos that's what he and the other guys do.

Uh, no.

---

Amos says it's a surprisingly small funeral. I hate to say this, but he's right. I'm just glad that Mummy's side of the family is rather huge, so most of the people there were family members.

And even if you're church members, it's still courtesy to be at the wake by 11, latest, instead of turning up at 1 or 2am like at Mama's funeral, or continuing to be a no-show at 12am at my aunt's funeral. What kind of an example do you think this presents to non-believers? I'm so disgusted.

I'm so tired, though. Spent most of the rituals staring into space, or watching the joss stick burn. It's quite interesting, though sometimes I feel like a hypocrite, holding a joss stick and bowing to the coffin when I neither like nor understand why I'm doing it.

And then when I get bored, I start watching the youngest of the 3 monks conducting the rituals, because he is so obviously falling asleep while chanting. His eyes are closed most of the time, and he didn't even see the head monk bowing to him, so of course, he didn't bow back. Amos noticed his closed eyes too. XD

---

I've a very bad habit of editing my posts right after I post them, and adding more stuff to them. So stupid, right? Angel, kick it!

Anyway, can I say I love the liquid eyeliner I bought from Skin Food during my shopping trip with Han Han and Jins? So easy to apply (getting there, ok!) and so easy to remove (just rub it off!). Best thing is, I think I'm starting to have double eyelids just from 4 days of applying this eyeliner. XD

Ok, Angel. Stop deluding yourself. -.-"

It was the worst way to see you go, and what I would've given to have you go even more peacefully than you had. My heart skipped a beat each time I saw you take just a little too long to catch your next breath.

It's too late for apologies, but I still wish I'd talked to you a little more, visited you a little more, and took the time to appreciate all that you've done for me.

I wish I could've helped you get to know God too, for eternal life is the best thing I would ever wish for you to have when you pass on.

Mama misses you a whole lot, and I know you know that too. Please have faith in us that we'll take good care of her in your stead. Go in peace.

To the most dedicated aunt I've ever seen: I'll miss you.

I was looking through the old pics I've been keeping and... HEHEHE... I shall be a good bestie and not show any of his throw face pictures here. HAHAHAHA... (P.S. Joan, if you want them, let me know. XD)

But yeah, I miss school. =(

Back then, you'd think that you'll never look older, but now, looking at those pictures, I think I can honestly say that we all look much older now. How do 2-3 years make that much difference? =(

Why am I always so stupid? Like seriously, people will come to kidnap me, and I will be the kind who will happily follow them, and even offer to tie the ropes on my ankles myself.

ARGH.

Fingers-crossed that they don't sue me, and that I come out of this clean.

OMG, ANGEL, YOU STUPID GIRL. T_T

But loves to all the people who cared and helped me out, especially Jodin, who talked me through on the phone, and Ah Ji, who told me what to do. I love my brothers, really. ;_;

In other news, my schedule for the following 2 weekends are full now. I'm so popular all of a sudden! Hahaha... But no money. *sobz*

OH. MY. GOD.

WHY DID I NOT WATCH IT EARLIER?!

See, I thought Moo Se was uber cute in I'm Sam, then I was watching BBF earlier, and I still. Did. Not. Make. The. Link.

Mu Se and Jun Pyo are one and the same! Mu Se = Jun Pyo!

*dies*

I'm so excited for no damn reason. STUPID. And I'm still meeting Beaks at close to 9am tomorrow. -.-"

Oh, by the way, poopiness rawks. "Quack, quack, quack..." It helps that Bong was making the same quacking action. LOL...

OKBYE.

Huge, huge, mega update, plus loads of pics dumped here. You've been warned!

( 081220 Last Day of OTC )

( 081226 Zoo-k Outing )

( 081231 New Year's Eve @ Jin's House )

( 090103 Jays Outing @ ECP Jumbo )

And now, on to the fangirling.

( Don't say I didn't warn you )

OMG OMG OMG.

I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT MAYDAY'S CONCERT.

But there's still the autograph session tomorrow, so I'll do that on Tuesday then.

This is specially for Twinnie: DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME YET? AND YOU'RE STUCK ALL THE WAY IN THE STATES. MUAHAHAHA! XD

But I went ahead and did it anyway. I took a whole day to do this, ok!

I might just get killed for this, so if you don't see me around in the next week or so, you'll know why. XD

Oh Jooooaaaannnnn (and co.)... This is for you!


It's slightly more HQ here. I said SLIGHTLY!

Want to use this as proof to why you killed me? Click here. It's just the download link to the video above lah.

Original vids can also be found in the links below:

Alan's: http://www.mediafire.com/?3kjmd5y5tm5

Mine & Joan's: http://www.mediafire.com/?z2m4kjt4wti

Tat's: http://www.mediafire.com/?0yjjym1z2in

I know I've been very late in providing these. Hurhur... Should I upload these to YouTube too? XD

P.S. I am now very sick of Bulgeun Noeul. -.-"

What will I do with lube 'under my sky' now? XD I like the music arrangement though, and Minnie looks really good in that outfit. Yay!

You know, there were times over the last week when I really wanted to kick myself for quitting. No joke, I'll really miss my adorable adorable colleagues, and I'm not sure I'll be able to find such wonderful people anywhere else.

And then all of that comes to a standstill when you face the full force of The Eye-Roll during Friday's handover meeting.

She hates me, I swear. I don't like her much either. So just quit with your pretense, will you?

"You'll miss us when you leave!" - Yes, I will. Just not you.

"You're never gonna find a funner bunch of people!" - Ok, so 'funner' was in my own words, but yeah, this must be the first line from you I actually agree with!

The MV gang was really crazy during Friday's K-session, though. Maybe it just isn't as fun without Ronald and Vika to pair up, but Vika and Joik are good enough, already. XD

And much loves to Xiaomei and Zi Rong for the kind-of-wasted trip to Fort Canning on Saturday. We were supposed to check out the Ben & Jerry's fest, but kinda gave up at the sight of the crowd and mud. Lol... Great idea with the floating hearts and stars though! They were made up of bubbles! How cool is that? We (ok, so maybe it was just me) stared at them for ages. XD

I've gotta start looking for a new job.

But for now, the very talented Nagase Tomoya is calling my name. Tsutomu really looks like a mini Taemin, I swear. Mukodono marathon, here I come!! ^^

And... I couldn't resist posting this:



The only time I'll glady let people call me a pig. XD What is he chewing on?!

And the countdown begins. :)

Spoke to Joik today, and she's gonna tender together with me. Lol... I'm not psycho-ing anyone, but I also heard that she wants to tender too. Hahaha...

So it'll either be this Friday or next Friday, depending on how much shit I can take.

Not long more, now.


---


Every time I look at my phone is an OMGJB moment for me, and every night is a prolonged OMG-RELIEF moment. :) I'll take my relief where I can get them.

It's decided, then.

Excuse my language, but fuck the bonus. I'm tendering next Friday. Factoring in my allocated leave, I'll be able to leave right before the Christmas week.

Freaking miserable today, even more so when I know that everything is because I'm just not up to par. I don't even want to try anymore. I'm sick and tired of everything.

Instead of taking the bus, I took the train today, 'cos I just wanted to have a good cry on the way home. A hoodie does wonders, really.

*sigh*

I'm looking forward to next week.

---

Much more love in the air, now that 2 loves have returned to Singapore. XD Welcome back, Beako!

Plus, I got a really nice surprise phonecall from YARNTENG today. No lah, her name's Yanting, and she used to be an intern at MV and my favourite spazz buddy over all things J- and K-pop. Although now I have Edith (another -ting. XD) who's a fellow Soompi-er. Whoohoo.

I'll miss all the MV people (well, not ALL) when I leave. I really feel like I've let Kenny down, especially since he actually took the effort to 'impart his knowledge' to me, seeing as how I'm not THAT great a PA, and he's not exactly the most friendly of directors to all PAs. *sigh*

Oh well, I've made up my mind, and I really can't stay, not even with so much people I'd hate to leave there.

OMG. HE LOGGED IN 12 HOURS AGO. *spazzes* Online stalkers are SCAREE. Please don't turn into one. XD

I don't know how long more I can last here. Imagine living in fear every single day. How long is this going to continue?

Sometimes I feel like maybe it's just because God wants me to stay past the New Year. Why else would the last ep suddenly be cancelled and pushed to January? Never mind. As long as I can just get past the 18th, I'll be fine. Let's just hope the Kaohsiung ep doesn't screw up.

I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO WORK ON MONDAY.

I haven't even considered my options after getting out of this. I've developed work-phobia after this job. I'm serious. When I think about whether it will be the same for future jobs, I really wonder what I'm going to do. Perhaps I should save up for counselling. =X

I wonder if anyone ever feels as useless as I do. I have no aim in life. Angel, you're disgusting.

Oh, and it doesn't help that I'm suffering from JB withdrawal symptoms. I break out into "OMGJAEBUMMIE!!!" on an average of about 5 times a day. XD I can't believe I'm the only one who finds his eyes pretty. Come on, you'd think he was a trannie if you looked at his face only. LOL... Ok, not helping.

You've been warned. XD

( TOLD you JYP was gay! )

So this guy working at Long John's pissed me off greatly on Monday night. My friends and I always go there 'cos we love the clam chowder, and each time, he'd chase us to different tables just because he wanted to mop the floor.

Dude, it's only 9pm, and you guys close at 10pm! And it's not as if the floor gets any cleaner when you mop around our legs, since we gotta step on it if we wanna get out, right?

So that night, we came in from a different entrance and stepped on his precious floor. He blew up at us, and what took the cake for me was that he called us 'stupid'. Scolding customers is one thing, but to throw bloody insults? You know I'm not the kind who takes kindly to being called names lah. So I complained about him.

To put the story into point form:

1) I complain about him.
2) Manager scolds him.
3) He buay song, goes over to m_intcookie, who's seated at the table, minding her own business while waiting for us, and starts scolding her. It's not enough, he continues to bitch to every single customer that comes in about us, and starts saying loudly to them, "YEAH, THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. REALLY APPRECIATE IT." In that volume.
4) I buay song, complain him again.
5) He buay song, come over to ask if I have an issue. I say, "Yes. Don't think I didn't hear you call us 'stupid'." He bo wei gong. He walks away.
6) Manager comes over to ask whether we're sure he was talking about us. I ask her to clarify with the customers themselves. She does, and we're right, and she walks back to argue with him.
7) He comes over again, and tries to "talk things over".

Ok, this is the juicy part.

Him: You honestly think I care about this job? It only pays $300-400. [No, I don't care.]

Him: You say you come here all the time? How long you come here? I worked here since last October, a year already, I've never seen you before. [Your memory's as bad as a flea, of course you don't.]

Him: Ok, I believe we're all mature people here. We can talk this over like mature people. [Ji tao insult. You're saying all my complaining before that was immature?]

He spouts off all this random rubbish, which, honestly I wasn't paying any attention to, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, he goes:

"So now that I've apologized, I want you to apologize now."

I was like, "WTF?! Dude, I didn't hear an apology man." I seriously didn't. Charlotte can vouch for me. I refused to apologize until he did first.

And then I apologized for stepping on his stupid floor. On hindsight, I wish I didn't, 'cos honestly, IT'S NOT OUR BLOODY FAULT. So then, the manager comes over again, and she tells him not to point his finger at us (which he was so doing) and he freaks out and tells her not to do it too (which she was so not).

Then, the killer line comes.

"Ok, that's it. You're getting another letter. [He freaks out again and starts saying a whole bunch of stuff that I couldn't be bothered to waste braincells on to remember] I'm not firing you, I'm asking you to quit. Simple as that."

Charlotte freaks out and starts pleading with her not to fire him, and that we were just talking. And I'm just sitting there trying not to laugh, and trying to stop Charlotte from throwing her face. The manager reassures her that it isn't the first time, which honestly, is true from my previous visits there.

They kept arguing over our heads until I finally stood up and said, "You know what? You guys can stay here and settle whatever it is you gotta settle here, but we're leaving." So we got the hell out of there. I think Charlotte was about to cry. Lol...

I'm such a bitch. ^^

But sad that we can't have clam chowder anymore after lessons. T_T Oh wells, there's still Mos Burger. At least, until I get someone fired from there. =P

In other news, my family's eating durians at least once a week, and I'm starting to get sick of them. PLUS, for some stupid reason, I've got tons of bleeding scratches from durians. No kidding. Got real blood. I had to carry them to my grandma's house one night, and all the time I was walking behind my parents, you could hear me going "AUUUUGGHH!!" every 5 minutes. Don't believe, ask my brother.

If I've got a camera, I could take pictures and show them to you, but oh look! I don't have one! Which brings me to:

MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP, INNIT? BIG HINT!

HOHOHO.

Funny, lah! I went to the Yoga Lin concert on Thursday with Wei Qi, without even knowing how he looked like. I think I had my doubts? 'Cos his album was uber boring. Lol...

But he's much better in real life. NO, SRSLY. LIKE TEN TIMES. Singing, I mean.

His performance was amazing lah. All I can say is: He's an interesting performer. Come on, which singer would burp into the mike? LOL...

So in conclusion, he has my approval. Plus, I got to see my long-time EC, which works out even better. ^^

So while I was with Wei Qi, I did up my birthday wish list. HOHOHO. My birthday's coming, what! So do you want a peek? =P Don't even know whether I'll be able to hold a birthday party though. Sucks balls!

I'm happy for you, Ah Lam! Did you see how many people sent you off yesterday? It was the best thing I could ever wish to happen to you when you go. =)

You can't imagine the number of times I broke down during your wake yesterday. How ironic is it that I kept telling people to smile, because you would've wanted that, and yet, there I was crying my eyes out each time I see your face in my mind, and know that you won't ever be back again?

But, like I mentioned to some people after your wake, this will honestly be the last time I cry. After this, I'll always smile, especially when I remember all the memories we shared in SU and FO. =)

Thanks for everything, 大头! ^^